Lost Time Is Never Found Again

If I could use one word to define the last year of our life, it would be time.

Time is something so valuable, that is often taken for granted. Time passes irrevocably. Once it's gone, you're not getting it back. So the way we choose to spend our time is important. It needs to be intentional. This has been my focus this year, for myself, and for our family. We've now been in Portland officially longer than we were in the Bay Area. We have made it through that transition and 2.5 years of a global pandemic, all while navigating life with teenagers and all the emotional work that comes with that territory. Portland is our home now, and we made a solid effort to embed ourselves into our community this year, and focus our time on things that did just that. 

After I wrote my annual post last year, we had a wonderful Christmas at home with family.

Two days later, my amazing, beautiful grandma, (lovingly called Mama Mimi by my brother and me) passed away at the age of 99. She was so much more than a grandma, she was definitely one of my very best friends, she was my sorority sister, and she is the one who I looked forward to talking to on the phone the most. I miss her and our conversations so much, but I am grateful to know that she is reunited in Heaven with my dad (her son), her husband (my Papa Ray), her sister Eleanor, and her parents. She is responsible for a good portion of what makes me, me. I am so grateful for the time I got with her, all the way up until the end. This is a picture that I took of her when Paloma was a baby, and my sister-in-law Larel was hosting a wine tasting party. Mama Mimi was enjoying herself thoroughly with our friends, and said to me, "Candida, take a picture of me like this. This is how I want to be remembered." You got it, Grandma. 

Miriam Elizabeth White Jacobs 7/9/1923-12/27/2022

Here's a recap of our family's adventures over the last year:

JANUARY

The new year started with Paloma’s 12th birthday and 6th grade basketball season in full swing. As a family, we were able to travel to New Orleans to celebrate Papa Meredith’s 80th Birthday. All 12 of us stayed in a beautiful house in the Bywater neighborhood, and I became quickly infatuated with the oil lamps that we had on our front porch, and that I saw on all the houses nearby. A highlight of our trip was a swamp tour where we learned so much about native and invasive species in the area, and we even got to see a couple small gators! Solon and I were able to reconnect with our friend Albert, who we met on our first trip to NOLA in 2015. It was wonderful catching up with him and touring his business that he built from the ground up over the last 8 years.

As usual, we prioritized the flavors of the area, and enjoyed king cake, gumbo, gator bites, and our share of delicious cocktails. We spent an amazing and educational day at the National World War II Museum, and could have easily spent three days learning more. New Orleans is a city with so much music, culture and history - we always have a great time when we go there.

FEBRUARY

I was the event chair for the middle school’s Bernstein Bash - the annual fundraiser for the Artful Learning Program at Jackson MS. This was the first event post-pandemic, and luckily the previous person in charge kept amazing notes, and helped ensure its success. Our goal of $30K was raised by the end of the night, and I was thrilled that we pulled it off! We spent a few nights a week cheering on Paloma’s basketball team (the Pickles), and even had a special guest come to support the girls at their home game, and get them hyped up. When I thanked the Portland Pickles Baseball Team for sending Dillon over, their response brought a smile to my face: “Of course! Pickles support Pickles!” 

(Dillon T. Pickle pictured below)

We had some snowfall this month 

and I loved the view from our upstairs window.

MARCH

We drove up to Issaquah/Seattle for Alynsia’s Birthday. While we were up there, I took the kids on a self-guided "10 Things I Hate About You" tour, since the kids had just discovered the movie (one of my favorites from that late 90s), and the movie was filmed in the Tacoma/Seattle area.

The Fremont Troll in Seattle, "Padua" High School which is really Stadium HS in Tacoma, Gas Works Park in Seattle (paintball scene), and we found the "book store" from the film, but it's now this really cute gift shop.

APRIL

My mom flew out for her birthday this month, and we went straight to lunch at a fantastic restaurant - La Cocina. The cuisine is from Puebla, Mexico, which is where my mom was born. She absolutely loved it. We enjoyed a few days just being together, seeing some local sites, and eating good food (of course).

The very next weekend, Holly and Makena came to spend a few days with us to celebrate both of their birthdays. We hit up a dairy farm and had the best fried cheese curds I've ever tasted, and took Holly to Farmhouse Thai Kitchen for a truly delicious and eclectic experience.  It's getting harder and harder to see our AZ besties, but we treasure whatever time we can get with them. 

Paloma and I explored the Portland Night Market, filled with food trucks, amazingly talented artists and creative vendors, and BABY GOATS. We got to snuggle with them for 15 minutes, and we were in heaven.

The rest of the month was filled with track and field meets, and Quincy got to play trumpet in the annual St. John's Parade. The sun started to come out a bit more, so Sunny was happy.

MAY

After several years of best intentions, Solon and I were finally able to visit my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Bill at their new home in Charleston, SC. They had been enjoying retirement there for a few years, and we were so excited to explore their new home. My aunt taught me how to be a foodie years ago, and boy did Charleston's food scene not disappoint! From the oysters on the half shell, to fried green tomatoes, to squid ink pasta, we did not have one bad meal. There was so much to explore, and I just couldn't stop taking pictures of the colorful houses. The blue one below was my favorite, with 2 covered patios, and rocking chairs on the porch. I also loved the flower boxes on all the windows.

"Chucktown" has some very dark history (as the former slave trade capital of North America), and I really appreciated the way the city is trying to educate others, and not hide from it. Since my aunt and uncle live so close to Charleston Harbor, they were invited to a preview of the new International African American Museum which was built on the site where ships brought enslaved Africans just over 150 years ago. We were able to attend with them, and the exhibit was chilling, and should be required viewing for all who live in the US. So many of our "American" traditions come from African people, and most of us have no idea - from music, to dancing, to bringing food to a pot luck, it all has African roots. Here's a link that explains a bit about what the city has done over the last few years to reckon with its past. We can't wait to go back to visit again, and take the kids to see this beautiful, historic town.

The month finished off with Paloma's first middle school dance, and Quincy had quite a musical month, with trumpet solos in Jazz band, and singing solos at his choir concert. We are so proud to see our kiddos up on stage!

This month, my Tía Yolanda passed away at the age of 89. Out of all my mom's sisters, I would say I was closest with her. She was an incredible, kind, and loving woman. She lived in Cancun, and would always open her home up to us when we came. She was ready with one of her famous margaritas, and I loved the way she would dance around the kitchen. I will miss her so much.

 Tía Yolanda Nieto Alonso 11/22/1933-5/13/2023

JUNE

June brought the end of middle school for Quincy, and the start of summer. Paloma and I went to watch West Side Story on the big screen with the Oregon Symphony playing all the music in person. It was such a cool experience, and we both loved it.

Father's Day weekend we spent in Castella, CA near Mount Shasta with the Shrieve family who drove up from Piedmont, CA to meet us. We stayed in an AirBnB cabin together and enjoyed some quality time. Paloma drive back with Violet and family to spend a few days back in our old neighborhood, and we got ready for Quincy's best bud, Daniel, who was flying in from Colorado for a visit.

Wedding season began for me at the end of June, Quincy spend 5 days with his buddy, and our co-ed softball season kicked off the same weekend. It was the first time Solon and I had played in 4 years, and it felt so great to be a part of a team again!

JULY

We took a much needed trip to Solon's hometown of Cedar Rapids, IA - it had been 5 years since our last visit and it was so great to see so many family and friends as we did. It was a lot of catching up, and family gatherings, and it was so fun to see everyone's facial expression when our 6' son walked into the room. Highlights included attending the Cedar Rapids Kernels baseball game with Papa Allen and his wife's children, having lunch at the NewBo market, and going back to church to hear Uncle Dicky preach, and hear Papa Allen and Papa Leroy sing. It was a wonderful visit, and we couldn't leave without paying a visit to Grandma Nellie, Gaga and Grandpa at the cemetery. I also got to see the corn stalks up close, and that made me happy.

August

My mom and godmother came to visit us for five days - it was my mom's first time experiencing a PNW summer, and they were both grateful to be away from the AZ summer heat for a bit. We had spectacular weather the whole time, and visited Multnomah Falls, and a dahlia farm that was in full bloom. On August 8, the anniversary of my dad's passing, we went to a local Mexican restaurant called Sandoval's where the owner is a tequila connoisseur and he shared a sip of some of his very best with us in Dad's memory.

We took a day trip to Seaside to close out the summer, Quincy got a few shifts in at the local cat rescue where he helps socialize the cats, and we attended our first Timbers (pro soccer) game on my birthday and Solon and I LOVED it. So much action! School started a few days later, and Paloma tried out for the volleyball team, and made it! I spent the first week of school crying every day, realizing that we had a high school freshman, and a 7th grader, and therefore only had 3-4 more summers with Quincy, and 5-6 more with Paloma, and it honestly made me so sad that the time had gone SO fast. We made the decision that week to just be all in, cherish every fleeting moment we have with them, and enjoy it while it lasts.

SEPTEMBER

Wedding season started to wind down for me, and as I look back on my 3rd season with Bridal Bliss, I am really grateful for the relationships I started to build with vendors and venues this year. We also had such a great batch of assistants, including our next door neighbor (not pictured), who just graduated from high school, and worked a few events with me before heading off to college. 

We drove up to Issaquah at the end of the month to spend time with the Willams family who were visiting from Iowa (lifelong friends of Solon's parents), and we left the weekend with our hearts so full of love and gratitude for the time together, and the bonds that were strengthened in just a few days. Quincy attended his first Homecoming dance at the high school, and came back sweaty and elated. He got in the dance circle "17 times!!!" and had an absolute blast with his friends.

OCTOBER

We spent a lot of time watching volleyball games, and outside enjoying the amazing fall weather. We closed out the month with a trip to a local Pumpkin Patch and Harvest Festival, where we got to see first hand how fresh pressed apple cider is made (YUM!), and it was great to spend some time with friends who have become like family over the last year. Solon and I drove up to Seattle to attend the Arizona State University VS University of Washington football (Homecoming) game with Charissa and Eric. We proudly sported our Sun Devils gear and hit up the local college town beforehand. There were a couple dozen ASU fans at the first bar we went into, and we were greeted with a hearty "A-S-U! A-S-U! A-S-U!" so we knew we were in a good spot. It had been a while since the Bells and Stromskis had a double date, and we had such a blast together. Halloween wrapped up the month, with Paloma dressing up as (Tik Tok famous) Omar the Ref, for which she won the costume contest at school. Quincy dressed as Michael Myers from the movie "Halloween" and proceeded to scare the crap out of me every time he came around the corner. Solon and I opted for Bonnie and Clyde and walked the neighborhood with friends while the kids tick-or-treated. It was a great night!

NOVEMBER

The term "No-School-November" got a whole new meaning this year when the Teachers Union (Portland Association of Teachers) went on strike against the Portland Public School District. The PAT and PPS had been in negotiations since JANUARY (!), and the teachers' union told the district they were going to strike November 1st if the district couldn't get a decent package together. Our students already had two Fridays scheduled off for End of Quarter grading, and Veteran's Day, plus the whole week of Thanksgiving. The kids missed a total of 11 days of instruction, before the district FINALLY made a deal the teachers could be satisfied with, and the kids returned to school the Monday after Thanksgiving. The kids and I supported the teachers on the picket lines several times in the cold mornings, and came with coffee and hot cocoa to lift their spirits. They would have MUCH RATHER been teaching - they missed their students terribly, but they were striking for better working conditions, services for the students, and better pay, among so many other things. We were happy to show our support - our teachers do SO MUCH for the community and they needed to know that their community was behind them. Paloma tried out for a club volleyball team, and crushed her goal, and then attended a B'Nai Mitzvah for her classmates (twins) a couple weeks later. She had a blast on the dance floor, and came home ecstatic that a former teacher of hers (whom she adored) was at the event.

We hosted Thanksgiving at our house, and Lisa and Alynsia came down from Issaquah to be with us. We also invited our friends, the Shanks family, over to join us, and it was a delicious day! We are thankful for so much. I used my grandparents' wedding china and crystal for our table, and it kept my grandma close to my heart all day.

Unfortunately, my mom had to say goodbye to another sister this year. Tía Olga passed away one week after her 90th birthday in Huatulco, Mexico, just 6 months after her twin, my Tía Yolanda. I'm sad to say I only had the opportunity to spend a couple visits with her in my lifetime, and I didn't know her very well. It's hard when we live so far apart from each other. What I do know is that she was a lovely, and beautiful woman, and my mom loved her very much. Because of her, I have beautiful cousins who I love dearly. Olga was a very active member of her community, and she will be missed by all who knew and loved her.

Tía Olga Nieto 11/22/1933-11/29/2023

DECEMBER

We've started to wind down 2023 this month with a tamale-making party, an impromptu visit with friends who were in town, and a Winter Wonderland Fun Night at the middle school. Quincy turned 15 this month; it was an epic weekend of axe-throwing with friends, and a viewing of the new Godzilla movie (which was AWESOME!). Paloma had a choir concert, and Quincy had his first high school band concert, and they both looked so grown up in their attire. 

Phew! What a year! We have worked really hard to create and treasure the moments of joy we get with our family and friends, knowing that the time we get on this earth is a gift, and knowing there is so much suffering and sadness in the world right now. Lost time is never found again, so we will continue to be intentional with ours, and we will savor every moment. We continue to pray for peace, and we hope that you are surrounded with people you love this holiday season. To you, our family and friends, near and far, we are sending you our love and best wishes for a fantastic 2024! 

Productive, Despite All Odds

Apparently, I'm an annual blogger now. Life happens so fast, and with such force that the once-a-quarter blog posts of the past are no longer a possibility. I do love looking back though, on all that has happened in our lives over the course of 12 months, so I'll continue to do that... even if it takes sending out our Christmas cards to light the fire under me.

Here's our 2022 in monthly recap form:

January

With the beginning of each new year, we celebrate another trip around the sun for Paloma, who turned 11 this year. I finally got hit with Covid, but luckily tested negative just in time to spend a weekend with two of my best friends in Southern California. I was able to show my cousin Kerry a copy of her beautiful artwork in hardcover form, and we got excited knowing we were that much closer to the book project being done.

February

We had a fun visit from the Giovannetti family who came down from Seattle for a Blazers game. Paloma's basketball season started up again, this time with some familiar faces from her 3rd grade/pre-covid season. The girls had to play with masks on still, but at least they got to play!

March

Paloma participated in her elementary school's production of Hansel and Gretel. She played the Grandma, and was adorable in her costume (with matching mask). The day after this performance, the mask mandate was finally lifted in Multnomah County, and we were all very thankful. I participated in a team photoshoot with Bridal Bliss, which got me really excited for my 2nd season with the company. Solon and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary with an AMAZING Italian dinner from a restaurant in our 'hood, and we spent a few days of our kids' Spring Break back in Piedmont, visiting with some of our favorite people there. March was a very full and fun month.

April

Grandma Chacha came in town to celebrate her "Jubilee" birthday (75), right in time for everything to be in bloom in Portland. We had a wonderful few days together exploring nearby gardens and farms, and treated her to a fancy birthday dinner with views of the city. We love it when she comes to visit! After she left, I got word that the 300+ copies of my very first children's book were being printed, and on their way to me. I was so excited that I had come this far with the project.

May

The kids wrote me Mother's Day raps and I had some fun comparing old pictures of Solon and me to our kids' school pictures. People always say that Solon and Quincy are twins, and Paloma and I are twins, but I think Quincy looks more like me at this age, and Paloma looks more like Solon. See for yourself! By the end of May, copies of my book had landed in over 18 states across the USA, and the print-on-demand company that I used already had it listed on Amazon! The most amazing feeling was seeing my book in the hands of children in all the pictures that were sent to me by my friends and supporters.

June

Paloma performed in her school's talent show, and then was "promoted" to middle school the following week. Our days as elementary school parents officially ended. 😳 "Summer of Fun" had officially begun, and we were ready for a couple months full of adventure, starting off with two of Paloma's besties coming to visit.  We had a blast with Holly and Makena, eating our way through the PDX area and exploring Astoria, Oregon on our self guided Goonies Tour. By the end of June, I had already coordinated three weddings, and Violet from Piedmont flew on a plane by herself to come see us for a few days. 

July

Now it was Quincy's turn to have some quality friend time with his best buddy, Daniel, who lives in Colorado. Quincy took his first unaccompanied flight, and this was the longest he had ever been away from us. Five days later, we picked him up from the airport with a big smile on his face, and an experience that he will never forget. LilyKate (who's like a niece to me) came to the PNW for a swim meet one weekend, which gave us a whole day to show her around our area before she had to return to AZ. We hit up Multnomah Falls, the food carts, the Rose Garden, and went thrifting all in one afternoon! It was great to spend some time with her and learn about the awesome young human she has become. At the end of the month, I coordinated a gorgeous wedding on the hottest day of the summer (High of 103), and the next night, Paloma and I went to the Crystal Ballroom to hear Calum Scott perform live, and he was AMAZING.

August

We enjoyed a quick visit from Mimi and Grandpa Meredith, and I took them to view the beautiful gardens at Lewis and Clark College where I would be coordinating a wedding later in the month. Solon and I took the kids and Sunny for a day trip to the Washougal River, just NE of Portland across the Washington state border. It really is amazing how many beautiful areas there are within an hour's drive from our house. I spent the 7th anniversary of my dad's passing up in Olympia, WA with Charissa, taking time to get caught up on life and see something beautiful (which he would have liked). I coordinated two of the most beautiful weddings this month, and then the week of my birthday, the 4 of us (plus Sunny) headed to the Oregon coast for a few days of family time in Seaside. 

September

The kids started school, and then a couple days later we headed up to Issaquah to spend the Labor Day weekend and celebrate birthdays with Lisa, Tony, and Alynsia. I had another two weddings this month, one at the Portland Art Museum, and the other in Yamhill County/Wine Country. Paloma and I drove down to Eugene to see Hamilton performed LIVE, and I continue to be amazed by that show and the absolutely brilliantly talented performers it recruits for its various tours and performances.

October

This month featured a quick weekend in Las Vegas to spend some QT with Christina who I hadn't seen since Summer 2021. It was soul-filling and so much fun - it always is when we are together. Paloma went away with the 6th grade to "Outdoor School" (camp), a long-standing tradition in the Portland Public School District. She was away from us for five days, and the house was eerily quiet without her there. I took Quincy to the first concert of his choice - Alec Benjamin - who I really wasn't familiar with, but was thoroughly impressed with, by the end of the night.  Paloma returned from camp slightly more independent, and grateful for my cooking. Soon after, she had her first choir concert at school. We had some fun for Halloween - dressing up as various things; Quincy as the Punisher, Paloma as a Barbie, Solon as a rapper, and I went as Julia Child. Bon appetite!

November

Quincy and the members of the Symphonic Band at school had the honor of playing in the first Veteran's Day Parade in Portland in 3 years. They marched and played, over and over, for an hour. Paloma and I watched from the sidewalk and followed them the last 1/4 of the route until the end. It was honestly so impressive how professional they looked and sounded. They have an amazing band director, and Quincy seemed to be pretty pleased with the whole experience. Solon and I enjoyed a bit of the local college's football game, and Sunny got her haircut right before the temps dropped, so we got her a puffer vest (which we're not sure she loves).  It had been over a year since we'd been back to AZ for a visit, so we went back the week of Thanksgiving since our kids had the whole week off. It's always impossible to see everyone we'd like to see when we go back - having lived there 36 years of my life, and 15 years with Solon, we know a lot of people from different phases in our life that mean so much to us! But this visit was really important to connect with family, and so we did just that. 

December

And just like that, we have a 14-year-old. We spent the eve of Quincy's birthday looking through the digital hard drive, and showing the kids home videos taken the night before Quincy's arrival. The memories were so beautiful, and revisiting them is something we need to do more often. The kids really loved it, and I think they are now at an age where they can actually start to grasp all that parents do for their kids. We took the birthday boy and a handful of his buddies bowling, and he had a great time. Paloma's middle school basketball season got off to a great start with 3 wins in a row; we're looking forward to watching her play into the Spring. I closed out wedding season with my 13th (!) wedding of the year, and it was such a fun and beautiful night in Downtown Portland. Solon went all "Clark Griswold" on the outside of the house, and I went all "Buddy the Elf" on the inside of the house, preparing for our Christmas visitors (Lisa, Tony, Alynsia), who will be driving down from Seattle, and bringing Royce who is flying in from AZ for the holiday. 

These last few years have really thrown everyone curve ball after curve ball, and these last few weeks have really shown us how truly short life is, and how fast it all happens. We think its important to lead with love, check in on your friends and family, and be intentional with your time and your words. Let us all live our lives in a way that make our children and grandchildren proud, and as my mom says "leave the place better than you found it". Let's never waste an opportunity to tell people just how much they mean to us; you never know who needs to hear exactly that. 

If you're reading this, you have meant something special to us. Thank you for your love and for caring about our family. We wish you a beautiful holiday season, and hope the new year brings you good health and new adventures.