I went to the Kona Club with 20 other second grade moms on Saturday night. It was the first "girls' night" I had attended in a while, and I needed it. As much as we do for our children in the day-to-day, it's important that we, as moms, get a chance to connect and bond over drinks and stories of the constant struggle we feel. For the career-moms, the struggle to be the best mom, but also provide financially for their family - feeling like they wish they could do more. And the stay-at-home moms, who (especially here in Piedmont,) are few and far between - we get maximum exposure to our kids through volunteering at school, coaching sports, etc, and we're grateful for the extra time we get with our children, but we feel the guilt of not contributing more financially. Both types of moms often feel like it's not enough. These moms are amazing and talented, and really down-to-earth, and down for their kids. And we often forget to do something just for us (because of the mom guilt), but sometimes it's nice to take a few hours to recharge among your village. So that's what we did.
Some of us talked about how we met our husbands, others discussed current projects at work, some of us got deep and talked about corners of our history that aren't always out in the open, but help explain us a little better. And I was able to talk about my big insecurity - going back to work. Trying to figure out your place in the workforce after not having a career for 10+ years can be extremely daunting. The thought of putting together a resume that is all over the place is overwhelming, because you're not sure how it will appear to a potential employer. Then comes the part of knowing you're worth. When I left my full-time job in Phoenix radio, I learned I was paid HALF of my male replacement, all because he had a degree, and most likely, because he was a man. Even though (I was told after the fact), I did a much better job than he. So then I got the degree, and then some part-time event planning before having kids, and then fast forward 10 years... how does one figure out their worth? And then the thing that makes me most hesitant: How do I find something that brings in the extra money we need to live here (because we LOVE living here), but also allows me some flexibility to be available to my kids when they need me (maybe working 9am-3pm?), and allows me to participate in their school lives the way I have been? Is it possible? So, this is what I am working on now... updating my resume and adding in the skills that I have used as a mom in the various volunteer positions I have held which are actually a lot! Event coordinating, writing social media content, website management, managing multiple groups, customer relations, etc. I've got mad skills. Now, I just need to figure out how to use them to also help my family.
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Life continues to surprise me. The way our kids are growing; the little humans they are becoming. Each with a unique personality, that resembles characteristics of our various family members all rolled into one. Our house has a new energy since Sunny's arrival. She is definitely my dog. She is by my side as I type this, and she always wants to be near me in some capacity. When I leave the house, she sits in the Bay window and just watches out until I return. But she has a particular connection with each of us. Solon has found his new nap buddy, and the way she greets him when he wakes up is pure love. She will stretch out over his body, pressing her paws on either side of his face, as she showers him with licks all over. Then there's the kids. Sunny walks them to school every day, and upon drop off, immediately starts to do this slight howl/whimper sound, as if she's never going to see them again. And after a trip to the dog park, she waits for them patiently at home, until it's time to pick them up from school. Quincy is her full-size chew toy. She loves messing with him. Probably because he gives her the least attention of all of us, and she's begging him for it. Paloma is Sunny's second mommy. She cuddles her and cares for her when I'm doing various things around the house and Sunny just wants to chill. Sunny loves to sleep beside (or right on top of) Paloma, and is never too far from her when she's at home. Her love has helped us heal, as she has found her place in our family.
Spring softball has started, and it literally is the activity that makes me happiest. It makes me think of my Dad at least twice a week. He is with me the minute I have a softball in my hand. When I am on the field with these 7 and 8-year-olds, I'm hearing his words come out of my mouth as I teach them the correct batting stance, "Feet parallel, knees bent, front elbow down, back elbow up". I heard that so many times growing up, it is engrained in me. I chuckle sometimes, because I am such a stickler for proper form in this game. It's how he taught me, and now I'm sharing that. And on the weekends, there's nowhere I'd rather be than in the sunshine surrounded by kids who are learning and playing the game. Their energy, their growth, their small victories - it all brings me such joy. The highlight of course, is sharing this with Paloma, the way my dad shared it with me. To see her charge the ball with confidence, to see her pitching like her mama, to see her reach her goal of getting a hit every game, it is everything. I love it so much.
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Here are the things that have brought us joy since my last post:
Quincy's 10th Birthday
Meeting Santa
Road Trip to AZ for Christmas
Women's March San Jose with Lisa
Paloma's 8th Birthday
Quincy's Basketball Season
Kick off of Spring Softball - GO PANTHERS!
And of course - SUNNY
Grateful for our many connections (family, friends, community), the sunshine, the promise of new life every Spring, the highs and lows, and all the excitement and adventures that lie ahead!
