I have been using inspiration from my all-time favorite band (Counting Crows) since my last post, in an effort to really reconnect with myself. To use my memories to heal me, and to remind myself of the important things in my life.
"Gonna get back to basics I guess I'll start it up again"
I have been thinking about what I really want to accomplish in life. There is so much that I want, and sometimes life seems so fragmented that it's hard to get all my ideas out of my head on onto paper, so I can track them - making tangible goals out of them. I want to write every day. About motherhood, about childhood, about cooking, about travel, about this freaking election, about loving, and growing, and moving on through all the stuff that life throws at you. But I bottle the thoughts up one by one, until I have more time to devote to them, and before I know it, my bottle is so full, nearing explosion, and I can't articulate ANYTHING the way I want to. I need to work on that. First goal: Keep a journal - write things down right after they happen.
"We only stay in orbit for a moment of time
And you're everybody's satellite I wish that you were mine"
Death seems to be a common theme in my life for the past 14 months. It seems like every few months, I am having to sit my children down and explain to them that someone we know has died, or is going to die soon. It's a conversation that I never really had with my parents until I was like 12. So the fact that I have had this conversation with my 5 and 7-year-old SO MANY times in a little over a year... I mean I don't even know how to explain it. From my dad, to my great-uncle, to my mom's dog, to my great-aunt... and most recently to my best friend's 3-year-old daughter... I feel like seeing their mom sad is the current norm in our house. Through the moments of grief, I am working my butt off to remind them of, and expose them to THE GOOD in our lives, and in the world. We talk about the lessons we learned from the example of our lost loved-one. We do things that we enjoy, that makes us happy. We have adventures, we learn things together.
"She sees shooting stars and comet tails
She's got Heaven in her eyes"
One of my favorite aspects of sharing this journey of motherhood with my very best friends is the relationships that I get to have with their children. I am especially grateful for this one.
Final Ultrasound (2 years later, ALL CLEAR)
My godfather Chuck came to visit!
I welcomed in 37 with a birthday lunch at Chez Panisse in Berkeley
(crossed off the Bucket List!)
Girls weekend to see Counting Crows and Rob Thomas!
AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING
I participated in a commercial shoot for the Women Voter Project
(representing propositions on the CA ballot)
Fun with my mother-in-law!
Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate our friends, Maksim and Dominik
Fall fun with old friends near Sacramento
Live fully, love hard, and enjoy the Fall!