Our first winter in Portland wasn't as miserable as our California friends had warned us. 😂Yes, it was very wet, and I quickly learned that the one Eddie Bauer peacoat I had worn maybe a dozen times in the 20+ years I owned it, just wasn't going to cut it when it's 33 degrees at the dog park at 8am. We learned a lot this winter - layers and a really warm/water-wicking jacket are your friend; your boots need to keep your feet dry AND warm; Sunny wants to be outside no matter what the weather so be prepared; there is not a lot of sun in the winter, and when it does pop out, you will see everyone step outside and press their face to the sky for some fresh vitamin D (daily vitamin D supplements do help); there is such a thing as Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD), and it can affect people in different ways (for Solon and Quincy, they were super sleepy all the time; Paloma and I got subtle headaches that could make us a little dizzy, and last for several days); if you buy yourself a "Happy Light" to simulate the sun, and keep yourself busy until Spring, (or the end of March, whichever comes first), you will be just fine; the more rain in winter, the more beautiful the Spring.
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After spending the winter holidays in our new home, we were looking forward to all that 2020 had to bring. For Solon, it was coaching Quincy's basketball team, and really hitting a stride and fortifying relationships in his new position. For me, it was starting to nourish new friendships in our community, and get ready to coach Paloma's softball team (the thing I looked most forward to since moving here). For the kids, it was upcoming visits from friends and family, the 2nd semester field trips, end-of-the-year talent show, play dates, and going back to the Bay Area to visit our Piedmont peeps over Spring Break.
Basketball season for Paloma was full of positive moments and surprises. Paloma and her team (the Bananas) had two awesome coaches that created a fun environment for these girls who were mostly first-year players. They were able to see the girls strengths after just a few practices, and gave them some pointers to really step into their skills. We only won a single game all season (of which Paloma had her BEST game, scoring 1/3 of the total points, and our dear friends - the Shrieve family - were here from Piedmont to witness it), and even though the win felt good for the parents and the coaches, the girls felt like winners after practically every game. The girls had so much individual growth, and their commitment to each other grew steadily after every game and practice. I saw a side of my daughter that I hadn't up until this point. I had seen her determination before with gymnastics and tumbling, but when face-to-face with opponents who were playing dirty and aggressive (yes, some of the coaches we played against thought that was okay for 8/9-year-olds), Paloma used the tools her coaches gave her, and pulled something out from deep within to persevere. A fire was lit inside of her, and it was AMAZING to see it come to life. She really wanted to do her part for her team, and grew frustrated when she thought she hadn't done enough. After a hard game where the girls guarding her were flagrantly fouling her (when she didn't even have possession of the ball!), and the referee wasn't paying attention or listening to our coach's complaints from the sidelines (because she didn't have the ball), she learned the hard way that she needed to speak up and advocate for herself. At one point, the Mama bear in me hollered, "HEY!!" towards the little girl who was literally making red marks on Paloma's arms while guarding her, and the girl looked right at me, stopping momentarily. I didn't want to be that parent, but as a mom in the bleachers, that was hard to watch. Paloma was in tears after that particular game. It wasn't fun at all. The referee and the guy running the scoreboard (who ironically makes the girls recite a sportsmanship pledge before every game) heard a mouthful from me after that was over. Paloma needed me to advocate for her, because she was too bruised (literally and figuratively) after that to do it. That day, she learned that you're not always going to get a good referee, that some games are just not fair, but that it's important to know when and how to speak up for yourself, and in the end, you have to put that game behind you, and focus on the next one. This season was a major growth period for her, and the bonus of it all was we met some wonderful families in the process. She developed a deep love for the game of basketball and can't wait until next season!
Basketball season for Quincy and Solon was a little different. Having coached Quincy's team before, Solon was really looking forward to it. Quincy was looking forward to some extra time with his new school friends. Solon and his assistant coach Bryan were ready for practices with drills and plays to teach the 5th grade boys. Unfortunately, many of the players on the team didn't really have the heart for the game. Only 2-3 players were really competitive. Some of them were filled with self-doubt knowing that they never really played together on a team before, and some just didn't even want to be there, so there were some deficits in the respect department. Solon (who loves to coach and motivate kids) would come home deflated after each practice. On the nights that I would go help, I would see first hand what he was describing - it was frustrating to say the least. It was just really hard getting these kids to gel on the court. And the games were pretty brutal, because we were playing teams who had obviously played for a couple seasons together - they were basically running plays themselves. And then there were our players, who couldn't even remember the one play that we went over and over with 3 nights before. About halfway through the season, Solon and Bryan decided to focus on very specific tasks for each player. The ones that paid attention really showed improvement. One kid in particular, who at the very first practice said out loud, "I'm not very good at this game, so I'm probably not going to contribute much," did a complete 180, and was easily the kid I enjoyed watching most on the court. All it took for him was just a a shift of focus, and some specific tasks to put into play. Once he did it, and it paid off for his team, his confidence grew exponentially. This happened with a few other players towards the end of the season, and that made all the challenges worth it for Solon. It wasn't enough to get us a win, but we did get much closer by the end of the season. Quincy had a slow start, but gradually learned throughout the season that he needed to figure out how he could contribute to his team, during both practices and games. While our competitiveness hasn't exactly rubbed off on him, he really did want to prove to us that he was coachable and focused on the task at hand. He took his role on the team seriously and by the end of the season, he was one of the better players on the team, scoring at least 1-2 baskets each game! He was bummed when it was all over.
A week after basketball season was over, Holly and Makena came for a much-anticipated visit, at the end of their Spring Break. Since we didn't go back to Arizona for Christmas, this was the first time the girls had seen each other in 8 months. They were so excited for this time together, they could hardly sleep the nights leading up to it. We spent 3 days just being together, seeing a few local sights, and enjoying some good food. We even had a Snow Day while they were here, which was pretty magical. The day before they arrived, we had started hearing about this "coronavirus," and that it was kind of like a flu virus, but Holly felt prepared to travel with medical grade wipes for the plane, and antibacterial gel in her purse. I kept Paloma home from school that Friday, so the girls could have as much time together as possible. The news seemed to escalate over night, and by Friday afternoon, we learned that Portland schools were closing for an extended Spring Break, one week early, to allow for a complete disinfecting of the schools before students returned. Holly got an email that Makena's school was going to remained closed for a few extra days after their Spring Break for the same reason. Then on Saturday, while we stayed in our pajamas and drank coffee well into the afternoon, watching the snow fall outside, the news of this coronavirus got worse. We were so grateful to have had that time together, but we were kind of starting to freak out a little. We monitored how California was responding to it, and I even reached out to our friends who we were supposed to visit there in 10 days, asking "Would it be irresponsible for us to still come?" The friends who were going to host us over our Spring Break said, it was up to us, but we were still welcome. When I asked our former neighbors who were originally REALLY EXCITED to see us, their reply was "Yes, it would be irresponsible." When they said, "Stay home, don't come," I knew the outlook was grim. Schools there had already been closed, and events and gatherings of 50 or more were canceled. (Two days later, that number was reduced to gatherings of 10 or more.) Luckily, Holly and Makena returned to Phoenix totally fine, and prepared to hunker down at home when they returned. By that Monday, the term "shelter in place" was something everyone was saying, and beginning to put into practice.
Sheltering in place for the most part has been pretty positive. We love our new house, so we are grateful to have some time to enjoy it, figuring out what each of our favorite or most-used spaces are. For me, obviously, it's the kitchen. From 8:30am until about 9pm, it's where I spent about 75% of my time. Whether it's making breakfast while Paloma is on her video call with her 3rd grade class, then proxying her math and reading assignments, making lunch while Quincy is on his video call with his 5th grade class, then science experiments with both of them, cleaning up from all of that, then prepping for dinner while listening to a Facebook live performance from one of my favorite musicians, then a family game while we clean up, and segue into bedtime. In between these moments, I enjoy watching Sunny observe the squirrels in our front and backyards - she is desperate to catch one, or play with them - I'm not sure what might happen if they weren't able to outrun her. Letting her at least attempt to catch one, has me outside a lot throughout the day. I find myself out there, rain or shine, pruning things, pulling weeds, getting to know the various birds that make their nests in our trees and bushes - it brings me peace and calm - especially during these days of uncertainty when anxiety can surface. While she stands post at the various trees in our backyard, scouring them for any signs of squirrel activity, I water my flowers, and the herbs on my deck that I planted at the end of March, around week 2 of this whole Covid-19 situation. We've had some great days of sunshine, and plenty of rain, so they are growing wonderfully. Since my favorite Portland restaurant is closed right now due to state-mandated closures, I've planted the herbs I need to make my own version of their amazing chimichurri sauce, and have since made three batches. We've been grilling a lot, so none of it is going to waste.
Solon spends 90% of his day in the home office. He is on video calls from 8:30am-3:30pm pretty much every day. A couple of those video calls are 15 minute yoga classes, and various team-building sessions, so it's not just ALL WORK, and for the calls that don't require a computer screen, he can take Sunny for a walk to get some fresh air and stretch his legs while he listens in. On the weekends, he has worked on house projects like putting up café lights on our back deck, getting our speaker system set up, and helping me get our house ready for future visits from family and friends. We are definitely grateful to have him here with us so much more than usual. I remember back to our first year in California, he traveled so much that people in our school community thought I was a single mom - they just never saw him - and the kids and I were used to him always being gone. We like it so much better this way. Sunny loves it too - she is in absolute heaven having all 4 of us around ALL THE TIME.
At the beginning of shelter-in-place, Solon and I organized the garage and turned the 3rd stall into a workout space. Some weeks, Solon and I are in there 3-4 times in the mornings before the kids wake up, getting a workout in together, which really gets our days started on the right foot. Every third week or so, however, the fatigue of this quarantine lifestyle gets to us, and we do what can, maybe only working out one morning, but taking a long family walk in the afternoons, or doing a spontaneous workout in the afternoon when we have more energy. We're trying to avoid the "Covid-19-lb weight gain", and so far are definitely on the right track, but since life is all about balance, we've also definitely caught up on many Netflix shows, and I have been reading more when I can. We have done a lot of baking - I even tried making my own sourdough starter (which failed miserably somehow, but we've used the discard for some delicious pancakes), and we've had several kitchen sink science experiments that have been fun to observe. At this point, we have hit a stride with the home-based online learning (just a couple weeks left!). The kids know what is expected of them, and for the most part, they are doing their work with minimal frustrations. They are contributing more to the chores of the house, and they both help me in the kitchen, which is fun for me - I love teaching them life skills. There have been good days and bad days, several highs and a few lows, but the truth is, the bulk of the week feels like Groundhog Day for all of us.
Here are some pictures since my last post:
Our first Thanksgiving in Oregon!
Getting our Christmas Tree!
Quincy's 11th Birthday and Christmastime
Ringing in the New Year with friends
Paloma's 9th Birthday
Sledding at Mount Hood
(the "best day" of their life)
A visit from one of our favorite Piedmont families
Celebrating Solon’s birthday with family
Time with our besties
Day in the life of unplugged learning
Easter Sunday
Discovering Portland's finest treats
Sunday family hikes
Soaking in all the nature
Demonstrating how to maintain a proper "social distance"
And wearing masks whenever we are out in public
and in close proximity to others
I hope this recap finds you and yours healthy and safe. I hope that your work, your livelihood, and your mental health haven't been affected too negatively by this pandemic. I hope that this time of isolation has allowed you to connect on a deeper level to yourself, your partner, your family. I hope you haven't hesitated to pick up the phone and call someone you haven't talked to in a while. I hope that you have been able to dance around your living room, play copious amounts of board games, binge watch Netflix, read several books, try those recipes you've been collecting, look through family photos as you snuggle with your kids/pets/what have you. I hope you have ordered take-out from your favorite local restaurants, so they stay afloat during this time. I hope you write down every person you want to see, every thing you want to do, and every place you want to go (near or far), for when things get back to normal. I hope you are taking extra precautions for the health and safety of those around you, especially as states are starting to open back up. I hope that when you look back 5-10 years from now, you will be grateful for the blessings and lessons learned during this peculiar and uncertain period in our lives.
We are all in this together.
