Lost Time Is Never Found Again

If I could use one word to define the last year of our life, it would be time.

Time is something so valuable, that is often taken for granted. Time passes irrevocably. Once it's gone, you're not getting it back. So the way we choose to spend our time is important. It needs to be intentional. This has been my focus this year, for myself, and for our family. We've now been in Portland officially longer than we were in the Bay Area. We have made it through that transition and 2.5 years of a global pandemic, all while navigating life with teenagers and all the emotional work that comes with that territory. Portland is our home now, and we made a solid effort to embed ourselves into our community this year, and focus our time on things that did just that. 

After I wrote my annual post last year, we had a wonderful Christmas at home with family.

Two days later, my amazing, beautiful grandma, (lovingly called Mama Mimi by my brother and me) passed away at the age of 99. She was so much more than a grandma, she was definitely one of my very best friends, she was my sorority sister, and she is the one who I looked forward to talking to on the phone the most. I miss her and our conversations so much, but I am grateful to know that she is reunited in Heaven with my dad (her son), her husband (my Papa Ray), her sister Eleanor, and her parents. She is responsible for a good portion of what makes me, me. I am so grateful for the time I got with her, all the way up until the end. This is a picture that I took of her when Paloma was a baby, and my sister-in-law Larel was hosting a wine tasting party. Mama Mimi was enjoying herself thoroughly with our friends, and said to me, "Candida, take a picture of me like this. This is how I want to be remembered." You got it, Grandma. 

Miriam Elizabeth White Jacobs 7/9/1923-12/27/2022

Here's a recap of our family's adventures over the last year:

JANUARY

The new year started with Paloma’s 12th birthday and 6th grade basketball season in full swing. As a family, we were able to travel to New Orleans to celebrate Papa Meredith’s 80th Birthday. All 12 of us stayed in a beautiful house in the Bywater neighborhood, and I became quickly infatuated with the oil lamps that we had on our front porch, and that I saw on all the houses nearby. A highlight of our trip was a swamp tour where we learned so much about native and invasive species in the area, and we even got to see a couple small gators! Solon and I were able to reconnect with our friend Albert, who we met on our first trip to NOLA in 2015. It was wonderful catching up with him and touring his business that he built from the ground up over the last 8 years.

As usual, we prioritized the flavors of the area, and enjoyed king cake, gumbo, gator bites, and our share of delicious cocktails. We spent an amazing and educational day at the National World War II Museum, and could have easily spent three days learning more. New Orleans is a city with so much music, culture and history - we always have a great time when we go there.

FEBRUARY

I was the event chair for the middle school’s Bernstein Bash - the annual fundraiser for the Artful Learning Program at Jackson MS. This was the first event post-pandemic, and luckily the previous person in charge kept amazing notes, and helped ensure its success. Our goal of $30K was raised by the end of the night, and I was thrilled that we pulled it off! We spent a few nights a week cheering on Paloma’s basketball team (the Pickles), and even had a special guest come to support the girls at their home game, and get them hyped up. When I thanked the Portland Pickles Baseball Team for sending Dillon over, their response brought a smile to my face: “Of course! Pickles support Pickles!” 

(Dillon T. Pickle pictured below)

We had some snowfall this month 

and I loved the view from our upstairs window.

MARCH

We drove up to Issaquah/Seattle for Alynsia’s Birthday. While we were up there, I took the kids on a self-guided "10 Things I Hate About You" tour, since the kids had just discovered the movie (one of my favorites from that late 90s), and the movie was filmed in the Tacoma/Seattle area.

The Fremont Troll in Seattle, "Padua" High School which is really Stadium HS in Tacoma, Gas Works Park in Seattle (paintball scene), and we found the "book store" from the film, but it's now this really cute gift shop.

APRIL

My mom flew out for her birthday this month, and we went straight to lunch at a fantastic restaurant - La Cocina. The cuisine is from Puebla, Mexico, which is where my mom was born. She absolutely loved it. We enjoyed a few days just being together, seeing some local sites, and eating good food (of course).

The very next weekend, Holly and Makena came to spend a few days with us to celebrate both of their birthdays. We hit up a dairy farm and had the best fried cheese curds I've ever tasted, and took Holly to Farmhouse Thai Kitchen for a truly delicious and eclectic experience.  It's getting harder and harder to see our AZ besties, but we treasure whatever time we can get with them. 

Paloma and I explored the Portland Night Market, filled with food trucks, amazingly talented artists and creative vendors, and BABY GOATS. We got to snuggle with them for 15 minutes, and we were in heaven.

The rest of the month was filled with track and field meets, and Quincy got to play trumpet in the annual St. John's Parade. The sun started to come out a bit more, so Sunny was happy.

MAY

After several years of best intentions, Solon and I were finally able to visit my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Bill at their new home in Charleston, SC. They had been enjoying retirement there for a few years, and we were so excited to explore their new home. My aunt taught me how to be a foodie years ago, and boy did Charleston's food scene not disappoint! From the oysters on the half shell, to fried green tomatoes, to squid ink pasta, we did not have one bad meal. There was so much to explore, and I just couldn't stop taking pictures of the colorful houses. The blue one below was my favorite, with 2 covered patios, and rocking chairs on the porch. I also loved the flower boxes on all the windows.

"Chucktown" has some very dark history (as the former slave trade capital of North America), and I really appreciated the way the city is trying to educate others, and not hide from it. Since my aunt and uncle live so close to Charleston Harbor, they were invited to a preview of the new International African American Museum which was built on the site where ships brought enslaved Africans just over 150 years ago. We were able to attend with them, and the exhibit was chilling, and should be required viewing for all who live in the US. So many of our "American" traditions come from African people, and most of us have no idea - from music, to dancing, to bringing food to a pot luck, it all has African roots. Here's a link that explains a bit about what the city has done over the last few years to reckon with its past. We can't wait to go back to visit again, and take the kids to see this beautiful, historic town.

The month finished off with Paloma's first middle school dance, and Quincy had quite a musical month, with trumpet solos in Jazz band, and singing solos at his choir concert. We are so proud to see our kiddos up on stage!

This month, my Tía Yolanda passed away at the age of 89. Out of all my mom's sisters, I would say I was closest with her. She was an incredible, kind, and loving woman. She lived in Cancun, and would always open her home up to us when we came. She was ready with one of her famous margaritas, and I loved the way she would dance around the kitchen. I will miss her so much.

 Tía Yolanda Nieto Alonso 11/22/1933-5/13/2023

JUNE

June brought the end of middle school for Quincy, and the start of summer. Paloma and I went to watch West Side Story on the big screen with the Oregon Symphony playing all the music in person. It was such a cool experience, and we both loved it.

Father's Day weekend we spent in Castella, CA near Mount Shasta with the Shrieve family who drove up from Piedmont, CA to meet us. We stayed in an AirBnB cabin together and enjoyed some quality time. Paloma drive back with Violet and family to spend a few days back in our old neighborhood, and we got ready for Quincy's best bud, Daniel, who was flying in from Colorado for a visit.

Wedding season began for me at the end of June, Quincy spend 5 days with his buddy, and our co-ed softball season kicked off the same weekend. It was the first time Solon and I had played in 4 years, and it felt so great to be a part of a team again!

JULY

We took a much needed trip to Solon's hometown of Cedar Rapids, IA - it had been 5 years since our last visit and it was so great to see so many family and friends as we did. It was a lot of catching up, and family gatherings, and it was so fun to see everyone's facial expression when our 6' son walked into the room. Highlights included attending the Cedar Rapids Kernels baseball game with Papa Allen and his wife's children, having lunch at the NewBo market, and going back to church to hear Uncle Dicky preach, and hear Papa Allen and Papa Leroy sing. It was a wonderful visit, and we couldn't leave without paying a visit to Grandma Nellie, Gaga and Grandpa at the cemetery. I also got to see the corn stalks up close, and that made me happy.

August

My mom and godmother came to visit us for five days - it was my mom's first time experiencing a PNW summer, and they were both grateful to be away from the AZ summer heat for a bit. We had spectacular weather the whole time, and visited Multnomah Falls, and a dahlia farm that was in full bloom. On August 8, the anniversary of my dad's passing, we went to a local Mexican restaurant called Sandoval's where the owner is a tequila connoisseur and he shared a sip of some of his very best with us in Dad's memory.

We took a day trip to Seaside to close out the summer, Quincy got a few shifts in at the local cat rescue where he helps socialize the cats, and we attended our first Timbers (pro soccer) game on my birthday and Solon and I LOVED it. So much action! School started a few days later, and Paloma tried out for the volleyball team, and made it! I spent the first week of school crying every day, realizing that we had a high school freshman, and a 7th grader, and therefore only had 3-4 more summers with Quincy, and 5-6 more with Paloma, and it honestly made me so sad that the time had gone SO fast. We made the decision that week to just be all in, cherish every fleeting moment we have with them, and enjoy it while it lasts.

SEPTEMBER

Wedding season started to wind down for me, and as I look back on my 3rd season with Bridal Bliss, I am really grateful for the relationships I started to build with vendors and venues this year. We also had such a great batch of assistants, including our next door neighbor (not pictured), who just graduated from high school, and worked a few events with me before heading off to college. 

We drove up to Issaquah at the end of the month to spend time with the Willams family who were visiting from Iowa (lifelong friends of Solon's parents), and we left the weekend with our hearts so full of love and gratitude for the time together, and the bonds that were strengthened in just a few days. Quincy attended his first Homecoming dance at the high school, and came back sweaty and elated. He got in the dance circle "17 times!!!" and had an absolute blast with his friends.

OCTOBER

We spent a lot of time watching volleyball games, and outside enjoying the amazing fall weather. We closed out the month with a trip to a local Pumpkin Patch and Harvest Festival, where we got to see first hand how fresh pressed apple cider is made (YUM!), and it was great to spend some time with friends who have become like family over the last year. Solon and I drove up to Seattle to attend the Arizona State University VS University of Washington football (Homecoming) game with Charissa and Eric. We proudly sported our Sun Devils gear and hit up the local college town beforehand. There were a couple dozen ASU fans at the first bar we went into, and we were greeted with a hearty "A-S-U! A-S-U! A-S-U!" so we knew we were in a good spot. It had been a while since the Bells and Stromskis had a double date, and we had such a blast together. Halloween wrapped up the month, with Paloma dressing up as (Tik Tok famous) Omar the Ref, for which she won the costume contest at school. Quincy dressed as Michael Myers from the movie "Halloween" and proceeded to scare the crap out of me every time he came around the corner. Solon and I opted for Bonnie and Clyde and walked the neighborhood with friends while the kids tick-or-treated. It was a great night!

NOVEMBER

The term "No-School-November" got a whole new meaning this year when the Teachers Union (Portland Association of Teachers) went on strike against the Portland Public School District. The PAT and PPS had been in negotiations since JANUARY (!), and the teachers' union told the district they were going to strike November 1st if the district couldn't get a decent package together. Our students already had two Fridays scheduled off for End of Quarter grading, and Veteran's Day, plus the whole week of Thanksgiving. The kids missed a total of 11 days of instruction, before the district FINALLY made a deal the teachers could be satisfied with, and the kids returned to school the Monday after Thanksgiving. The kids and I supported the teachers on the picket lines several times in the cold mornings, and came with coffee and hot cocoa to lift their spirits. They would have MUCH RATHER been teaching - they missed their students terribly, but they were striking for better working conditions, services for the students, and better pay, among so many other things. We were happy to show our support - our teachers do SO MUCH for the community and they needed to know that their community was behind them. Paloma tried out for a club volleyball team, and crushed her goal, and then attended a B'Nai Mitzvah for her classmates (twins) a couple weeks later. She had a blast on the dance floor, and came home ecstatic that a former teacher of hers (whom she adored) was at the event.

We hosted Thanksgiving at our house, and Lisa and Alynsia came down from Issaquah to be with us. We also invited our friends, the Shanks family, over to join us, and it was a delicious day! We are thankful for so much. I used my grandparents' wedding china and crystal for our table, and it kept my grandma close to my heart all day.

Unfortunately, my mom had to say goodbye to another sister this year. Tía Olga passed away one week after her 90th birthday in Huatulco, Mexico, just 6 months after her twin, my Tía Yolanda. I'm sad to say I only had the opportunity to spend a couple visits with her in my lifetime, and I didn't know her very well. It's hard when we live so far apart from each other. What I do know is that she was a lovely, and beautiful woman, and my mom loved her very much. Because of her, I have beautiful cousins who I love dearly. Olga was a very active member of her community, and she will be missed by all who knew and loved her.

Tía Olga Nieto 11/22/1933-11/29/2023

DECEMBER

We've started to wind down 2023 this month with a tamale-making party, an impromptu visit with friends who were in town, and a Winter Wonderland Fun Night at the middle school. Quincy turned 15 this month; it was an epic weekend of axe-throwing with friends, and a viewing of the new Godzilla movie (which was AWESOME!). Paloma had a choir concert, and Quincy had his first high school band concert, and they both looked so grown up in their attire. 

Phew! What a year! We have worked really hard to create and treasure the moments of joy we get with our family and friends, knowing that the time we get on this earth is a gift, and knowing there is so much suffering and sadness in the world right now. Lost time is never found again, so we will continue to be intentional with ours, and we will savor every moment. We continue to pray for peace, and we hope that you are surrounded with people you love this holiday season. To you, our family and friends, near and far, we are sending you our love and best wishes for a fantastic 2024!